We Came to Believe,

A Program of Growth for Couples

We Came to Believe workshop is designed for couples who would like to improve the quality of their relationship. The program offers a variety of experiences that seek to restore and enhance intimacy, develop communication skills, and help build bridges for the future. Each couple will leave the experience with a treasure chest of tools to use in their daily life. They will explore boundaries, healthy sexuality and conflict resolution. They will build a support system to help them continue their growth. They will understand and work the Steps together.  The program is not exclusive to any one behavioral issue, addiction, or lifestyle. The 12 Steps of Recovery are originally from Alcoholics Anonymous, and adapted to couples. A premise is learned that an issue for one member of the coupleship is an issue.

We Came to Believe has been presented in various formats:  two weekend format, monthly, and weekly format.  Mary Jane Lane LPC LMFT CMAT-S has facilitated the program nationally since 1990. The original workshop is based on workbook" Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance and Reality by Dr. Patrick Carnes and Mark and Deb Laaser.

To attend the workshop, both members of the partnership need to participate, and be willing to work on their relationship.  The goal is to renew and build communication and intimacy, along with other couples seeking recovery.  Members do not need to be currently working the 12 Steps or be in a Recovery program. The only requirement for participation is the desire to build trust and to develop new intimacy. Participants are asked to commit to the entire program, thru the 12 th Step. Workshop: St. Louis, Missouri   Once per month, 15 sessions. This is a closed group, and limited to 8 couples.

Next Workshop Beginning:  March 15, 2020   12:45pm to 5:00pm

Subsequent meetings will be 9:00am to 1:00pm on Saturday or 1:00 to 5:00pm Sunday, and will be scheduled by the start of the group.

There will be one extended day in the Fall.  Workshops are held at retreat conference centers in the St. Louis region. Cost is $1800.00 per couple with materials deposit of $100.00 at time of registration.  Couples may pay $120.00 per monthly session, though are responsible for the entire amount. Participants may independently submit to insurance company for possible reimbursement or use Health Savings Cards.


Discovery Retreat: Foundational Principles, Family of Origin Impact,  Steps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Partners assess the strengths and impact of issues on their relationship, explore their resources to build a healthier life together, and discover strengths that will sustain their recovery.


After each session, partners are encouraged to deepen their work by reviewing, building, and using tools of recovery to enhance their relationship and deepen intimacy. Couples are encouraged to connect with a Recovering Couples Anonymous group.

Renewal Retreat

Building on the first two phases, the Renewal focuses on change, working Steps 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12  Couples build tools that make a difference in living a life of couple recovery.

The We Came to Believe workshop will be held at the Retreat and Conference Centers in the St. Louis region.  It is limited to a maximum of 8 couples.

A HCFA superbill will be made available for couples to independently submit to their medical insurance for possible reimbursement per monthly session. Couples are requested to attend all sessions.  If an emergency arises, independent time with additional cost will be arranged.

To register, Contact Mary Jane Lane LPC LMFT CMAT-S